Individual and Couple Counselling in Bude


Self-confident people often have qualities that everyone seems to admire. However, there are many people who suffer badly because they lack this fundamental attribute. Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, and yet, so many people struggle to find it. This is often a vicious circle in people who lack self-confidence, they can find it very difficult to discover success in their lives. Many people wonder how they can build this sense of regulated self-confidence? Well, there isn't a simple answer, and there is no quick solution. Building self-confidence is something that is readily achievable, so long as we have an inclination to change the way that we are at the moment. Once we ave it, no-one can take it away from us! At the beginning of the therapy, it is just necessary to believe that we can go out and do ‘something’ for ourselves.

If at first, we are not able to feel completely safe, the more new actions we can carry out the more our confidence improves. The result is less anxiety and apprehension. The first step to overcoming our lack of self-confidence is to identify our insecurities. This could be anything from spots, to past regrets, bullying at school, weight problems or the effects of past traumatic events. Whatever is making us feel ashamed or inferior, it needs to be identified, given a name, and write it down. We need to get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that we will need to resolve each issue before moving on. Remember that none of us are perfect, everyone has some insecurities, most of us may feel we lack something, in reality we learn that life is full of ups and downs.

Think about your life so far, then list the 12 best things you've achieved in an ‘Achievement Diary', you will be able to think of something if you try! Enter these events into your diary which you can look at as often as you can over the coming days and weeks. This is to remind you of the success you’ve already had! Now enter into your dairy, all the natural talents you may have. Maybe you are artistic, creative, a good cook, a parent, maybe you have a good sense of humour. Noting all of these things in your diary can help build your self-confidence. At the root of our insecurity and lack of self-confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional approval, power, luck, wealth, etc. By becoming aware and appreciating what we already have, we can overcome any feelings of being defective or dissatisfied with our life.

One of the most powerful ways of overcoming the lack of self-confidence is by using positive affirmations. These need to be realistic to work properly but over time, they assist us in an inner transformation of confidence. One of the things that I always ask my clients to do is - to begin every day with a smile. It is like a magic switch that seems to light up a wealth of energy from within. Then repeat their positive affirmation in their head, or aloud, ten times before going about their normal lives. If you need some help with overcoming your lack of self-confidence, consider making an appointment to come into the counselling room.


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